


The Waves

by Blanquette



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Abstract, Alternate Universe, Drabble, Fantastic, I Don't Even Know, Light Angst, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Ocean, Suicide Attempt, Water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 04:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14762537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blanquette/pseuds/Blanquette
Summary: Hyungwon loves the ocean.





	The Waves

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so uuuuuh I don't know what this is???? It's a bit different from what I usually do so uuh sorry?  
> I read a [prompt on tumblr](https://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/174269003885/writing-prompt-s-youve-always-loved-watching) and then this came about and I should really work on my WIPs instead but oh well.

**1.**

He found something comforting in the sea. He would sit for hours on end on the edge of the cliff, watching. Sometimes he would take his camera, snapping pictures of the waves and the seabirds grazing their crests. It was nothing much, nothing that would do justice to the beauty laid before him, at least not in his eyes. He would sit and he would stare and it would be the closest he would get to happiness. He would close his eyes, fill his ears with the sounds of the backwash, breath in the saline air, and for a short while he could pretend nothing existed apart from this, the cliff, himself, and the unbounded expanse of the ocean before him.

The pictures would cover the walls of his room, overlapping each other in a chaos that only tried to recreate the true wildness of the ocean, never coming close. But it would have to be enough, for those days where he couldn’t escape, those days where he had to go through the motions, too much expected and too much owed and it would never really end, he knew. Seated on top of the cliff he felt limitless, mind and body freed for as long as he was there, and it was love, maybe, the feeling overtaking him as he stared at the waves, at the rays of sunshine crowning their crests. He would take more pictures, pin them haphazardly on the four walls of his too-small room, and live in wait for the next time where he could be where he felt the happiest.

 

**2.**

It was a bright day when the water rushed up to meet him. Warm and humid, a bit too much, really, his shirt sticking to the skin of his back, and he regretted leaving his hair grow too long. But the sun had shone so beautifully on the waves, he'd had to crawl closer. And it was too close, he knew, when he felt it; the call of the abyss. And suddenly he couldn’t remember why he had to resist. He was tired that day, a weariness that came from deep within him, overtaking everything, and there was nothing to go back to, there was nothing, just a too-small room with too many pictures hastily stuck on flimsy walls.

And so he fell.

He fell for a long time, or so it seemed. The wind rushing past his ears and no up or down; he felt weightless and too heavy at once, and strangely, there was no fear. The water rushed up to meet him and he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see; he wasn’t sure he wanted to feel, either. He just wanted an end, but it did not come. The water rushed up to meet him and it felt like the arms of many, slowing his fall, and he wasn’t falling anymore, he was floating; there was a voice in his ear, sounding like many threaded into one.       

“Oh no,” the voice said, “we cannot destroy something that has loved us so beautifully” and the water that engulfed him felt velvety against his limbs, cradling him like one would embrace a child. But there were tears on his face, washing away in the foam of the waves, and his chest was crumbling under an invisible weight.

“You got it wrong,” he said, and his voice was barely above a whisper.

“You got it wrong,” he repeated, and the whisper grew stronger, filled with sadness, “I didn’t fall – I jumped.”

And the water turned cold then, salt against his face like tears he wasn’t the one to shed.

“It’s okay”, the voice said after a silence, and the warmth returned to the waves, seeping into his being, “it’s okay; now you are safe.”

There was darkness all around him, and water filling his lungs, but the voice sounding like many was still there, whispering in his ear, and still he felt no fear.

“We will take care of you.”

 

**3.**

He was the foam and he was the waves and he was the sunshine dancing on their crests. He was the current rocking the boats and the tide following the moon. He was a voice amongst many threaded into one, and he was chaos and he was free and he was love and loved, and he was happy, finally.

 

**4.**

There was a boy standing on the cliff, another boy looking over the water. His eyes looked too old for his young face, and his hair were the color of sunshine but in his being there wasn’t any light to be found. He was looking over the water, and it seemed especially beautiful in the moonlight, almost sublime, overwhelming in its unfettered immensity. He took a step forward, another and yet another, and he closed his eyes and he was falling, falling for a long time, or so it seemed. The water rushed up to meet him and it felt like the arms of many, slowing his fall, and he wasn’t falling anymore, he was floating; there was a voice in his ear, sounding like many threaded into one.       

“We know now”, the voice said. “We know how it feels.”

The boy said nothing. He was surrounded by darkness but there was no fear, the water was warm against his skin, taking away tears before they had the chance to flow.

“You are safe, we will take care of you.”

“Who are you?”

The boy asked, and as he opened his mouth his lungs filled with water, but there was no pain.

“We are many but we are one, and we love you just as you loved us, and we will take care of you.”

The boy nodded, and he felt weightless then, his body expanding, and he knew everything there was to be known; he felt warmth seeping into his bones, and a light he hadn’t known for long.

“You are safe, now, nothing will cause you harm. We love you, just as you loved us.”

The boy nodded. And he was nothing, then, but he was everything too. He was loved. It was okay.

 


End file.
